Embracing My Girl Side

Source: Creative Commons

I was born as a girl, but where is my girl side? I don’t fancy dresses, high heels, or fashion. I am not addicted to them. I can live without them. I used to question myself, why am I not interested in these kinds of things? Even when comes to choosing clothes for myself, I will still choose T-shirt.

Even when I see some nice dresses or fashion, I will not buy it (unless it is necessary). I will just imagine myself wearing it, and that is more than enough for me. “You are a girl, and this is all suitable for you.” That was what my mother used to say to me. She used to force me to wear this. Well yes, there were certain stage where I feel fashion like dresses, accessories, and high heels were really suitable for a girl like me. I came to appreciate the appearance I get from them. But I still prefer my T-shirt.

Today, a wedding dinner was held in one of the restaurant in KL. I had no choice but to wear dress, high heels, and bag. I felt nervous when I wear them. It’s like I was another person. When I looked into the mirror, the reflection shows a different person. That person was me, the other side of me that I didn’t really know. While feeling nervous and denying that side of me, I wanted to overcome those feeling. I always feel anxious when comes to wearing dress, I don’t have the confident in that particular attire I’m wearing.

Perhaps I do not want to accept the side of me who enjoy looking at that attire. So today I tried to embrace the girl side of me more. The side of me that wear a dress. I tried to look at myself with the dress that I’m wearing. I tried to accept it. Although there was a strong feeling of fear and nervous in my heart, I want to overcome it. It’s funny when I see myself feeling nervous over a dress. Just wearing them, I don’t gain confidence, instead I lost my confidence.

But today, I learnt to be confident in wearing them. It’s not like everyday I will wear them, so I will make them as a practice to embrace the girl side of me.