Just Ask, Don't Assume.

Source: Creative Commons

Recently, I keep in touch with a high school friend of mine. He was someone who used to fill my days with happiness in high school. My purpose to keep in touch with him is to know what he currently doing, and how is everything going on. I used to care for him as a special person, but now I care for him as an ordinary friend.

He told me about his love life and college. Well, I’m willing to lend my ear if he needs someone to talk. But, as the conversation goes on, I know his intention has changed into something more profound. He was still expecting me to treat him special. I was speechless for a few minutes when he confessed to me, and rejecting him nicely was not easy.

I don’t want to ruin our friendship but at the same time I want him to clearly understand that I care for him as a friend. Though I have said it a few times, he still is expecting something. Then, I told him “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

He said “It’s okay. I know. I just feel lost. I’m just happy you still want to talk to me.”

His sentence is an assumption. He assumes that I won’t talk to him. As the conversation goes on, he has a lot of assumptions on me and all of his assumptions are not true. Sometimes, people assume what they do is good for other. They should try by asking the person directly whether it’s good or not. Maybe it’s good according to you, but to another person it is not good.

I used to assume as well, and honestly that’s for my own benefit. I assume because I want to make myself feel better. It means I’m giving myself an answer from myself. Well it helps and that made me become an ignorant person of another person, because I’m lying to myself. So it’s like you assume someone like white as colour without asking, and then you gave him∕her white colour photograph as a gift. Eventually he∕she doesn’t really give you a satisfied or happy look on the gift, in fact he∕she prefers blue colour rather than white.

It’s better to ask the person first, rather than assuming the person is someone you expected them to be.