About Self Discovery

Yesterday, I finished reading "What I Talk When I Talk About Running" by Haruki Murakami which unexpectedly turned to be one of the best non-fiction books that I read in 2016 and immediately become one of my favorite books.

Towards myself

I have always believed that thoughts and feelings can be control. So when I watched one of Joyce Meyer talks in Youtube about "mind" and discover one of the verse in the bible about controlling thoughts and feelings, I know right away that what I believe is true.

Upon growing up, I had always been a person with low self-esteem. I easily admire people with confidence (until now I still do sometimes) and liked to compare myself to them. I used to hate myself because of the things I can't do yet others can do. And when I remember that now, I know it is part of my growing up process.

I had been a slave of unnecessary thoughts and feelings for a long time like wanting to impress everyone to make myself happy, like letting others negativity influenced me and many more. 

I used to hate how the way people does things that doesn't suit me or make me questioned "why the hell are they doing this? Don't they know this is not good?", but then I know clearly, I can control my thoughts and feelings towards myself about anything and I can choose as well negative or positive. 

Embrace The Gaps

A grip too hard
A heart too stubborn
A mind too straightforward

You see yourself worthy

A Special Day For Dad

Another day has come. For others, it is an ordinary day, but not for him.

This person who will pray day and night, who keep worrying about every tiny problems, who ask the same question over and over again just to irritate people, who will ask you directly without thinking, who will say "read bible, kid.", who will laugh when people thought he was rich, who will wake up earlier than you on Sunday Morning just to read bible before heading to church, who will tolerate your impatient, today is his special day.

He might not be the best dad. But I am grateful to have him here. There are times, I don't get his thinking and the way he does thing, and I will be lying if all of that doesn't irritate me, but I know he deserve respect. Because how he does things and how the way he thinks made him who he is today.

I never dream to become like my dad, but I do dream I can have that deep divine connection like he has.

Happy 55th Birthday, Dad! I might be far from the best daughter as I am not even worth that trophy, but I will be there. Thank you for everything. God bless.

I wonder....

You have to have big dreams.

I feel a little scared of those words. Big dreams, I haven't found it. For now, I just want one thing, a peaceful life where my mind and heart is in harmony and content. Honestly, big dreams give me some kind of a burden.

Quite An Experience.

Some weeks ago, I decided to have this rock climbing session at Tebing Parang, Purwakarta. I decided to try this new challenges. I don't think much of when deciding to join this challenges. I just thought it will be almost the same as hiking where you deal with nature.

Some Change isn't So Bad

The rhythmical melody of the pouring rain

Engulf her room and her thoughts

She write down her very first sentence to herself

"What are you thinking?"