You Don't Always Know Where You Are Heading

"You just can't stand it when things don't go your way, but you've got no control over what happens anyway." -James Morrison, Please Don't Stop The Rain

Wandering Alone...

Wandering alone in the sea of people.

The noises, the heat, the conversation in front of me keep going on without a break. These noises are without doubt the essence of life, but they are also what causes the disturbance of the mind.

Out There

Once again I decided to step into the working world.

The last 3 months, I have been doing a few freelance jobs and of course enjoy life the way I want it without any real commitment, this sounds more like holidaying. The reason for doing that was to allow myself to escape from the working world for a moment, although I believe the escape route is short and temporary (at least for me).

Uncertainty

"Let go the things that are not meant for you, if its meant for you it will come back"

I have difficulty in letting go of some things, this is because I have invested my time on it. So I am reluctant to let go, when some times it is the right thing to do for my own being.

Why You Always Feel Like Crap

Recently I have been watching Supernatural Season 8, and the scene where Dean, the older brother, unable to achieve what he wants and everything turns out to be unexpected, I totally get it.
Especially when he says "I feel like crap"

The Prime Purpose In Life

Human naturally are selfish beings. 

We want people to understand our needs, we want them to make us as their first priority.

We often forget that the people who are trying to understand us are also a human with limit.

Why Do I Write

Sometimes I really think that writing is frustrating. You sit down for hours to collect your thoughts and present it in that blank piece of paper. It's really tiring and nerve-wrecking.

The worst is when you have too much thinking in your mind that you are unable to find the right words to describe what in your head. It is depressing.

A Break

It's been a year since I started my journey as an official writer in a company in Jakarta. Although I am still far from perfect, but at least I don't regret my decision in joining this company. 

It's Time

An overwhelming feeling engulf me
Every fiber of my being shout to let go
Let go of the uneasy presence

The Gregarious Life

Just a few days I was thinking about the wish I had been making in my heart.
Well, it is coming true now, but for some reason I am not that happy.

Move On

There are people in this world that can't move on. Or should I say refuse to move on.

They love their past too much that they can't accept the realty of the present anymore.

No Voice

We don't talk.

Although there is this unsettling feeling after the high tone we have used to each other.

We just embrace silence.

Silence has become a refuge for the heart and mind. 

Our Time Together

Every time you look at me, I know there is a hidden massage behind those beautiful eyes because

you always look at me profoundly.

Change

The same.

It's just the same.

The city noises, the weather, the air, the buildings, everything is the same.

Nothing change.

Small Decisions

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Life is moving forward no matter what. Time also moves forward. The only thing that stay stagnant is our daily routines of waking up, doing your activities for the whole day, then sleep.

The Writing Side Effect

Dedicated to that one and only person I have to face everyday.
I don't know since when we have started to face many dead ends, but what I do know, you need to be out there exploring and rejuvenating your mind.

A Combination Of Life

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A combination of sounds.

The sound of the vehicles, the sound of the wind and the sound of the music from a desktop.

They blend with each other creating their own melody. 

The Forceful Gaze

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I refuse it.

Saying no.

Trying to make my reason enter that person head.

But there is always something disturbing after that, it is the gaze.

The Complaints

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I don't know since when, but I am sure that I have low level energy when it comes to complaints. When people start complaining , I will just listen and don't know why I will feel tired about it. I will feel like I am suffocating and I need to regain my energy.

A Bird

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Sometimes I wish I am a bird. To fly freely in the wide blue sky, embracing the wind and sun in the most intense way. Enjoy the rustling wind brushing my whole body. Witness the world with my very own eyes, witness its beauty and its crudeness.

The People I Have Met And What They Have Taught Me

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Throughout my journey in 2013, I have made new friends and lost a few one too. But despite all of that, I wanna share what they have taught me in such a short time.

Dear Me

Dear me.

Do you know how hard to be yourself?

To keep calm when things goes wrong.
To control your emotions when life greets you with thousands of unexpected situations.

Do you know how hard it is?

To understand that the essential part of living is being grateful.
To let go of all those shitty feelings.

It's actually hard but easy at the same time. All you gotta do is pick the things that will make you grow. The things that don't make you grow, leave it.

Choose one.

Yes, You Are An Introvert.

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I never know I was an introvert until I watch Susan Cain Ted talk, read her book: Quiet, and do the Myers Briggs test.

During my growing up process, I always feel weird, shy, and scared in the crowd. It's like that crowded place was never my place. And deep down I knew its true.

You Deserve Those Broken Hearts

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I remembered the first time I had my heartbroken, it was in junior high school and during that time I didn't know why I was such a serious girl when it comes to commitment. It was painful but I didn't cry. I just let myself felt the pain.

The Blank Piece of Paper

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I wonder since when I have loved to write on a blank piece of paper.